What if we adopted the belief that rejection is a blessing in disguise sometimes? After all, rejection helps us quickly weed out people or circumstances that are not a good match for us. It’s easier to move on when you are not stuck wondering what you need to change in order to get approval from someone with whom you’re not really a match for.

As I’ve suffered through rejection in my life, I’ve often asked the questions, “Why me? Why is this happening?” Rejection often walks hand-in-hand with a powerful feeling of unworthiness.

What I have come to realize is, rejection is a redirection to something or someone else.  Although, it’s very hard to see rejection that way, while we are hurting from the injury rejection causes.

Rejection is not something we take to kindly. Rejection, for most, is something to be avoided at all costs, and if encountered we tend to slip into self-doubt, shame, self-flagellation and a variety of other negative emotions.

The thought of entering a situation that could lead to rejection makes us feel vulnerable; however, we must allow ourselves to feel a little vulnerability to test the waters of a prospective desire.

Rejection ultimately leads to refining your true path.

Let Me Give You a Personal Example:

My first let down regarding an employment opportunity after college caught me completely off guard and had me questioning things I thought I knew about myself. After the interview, I just knew I had the job. I left the interview feeling good, my head held high, and I danced to my car with excitement. I called my mother right away to share what I thought was a sure thing. My mother was elated to hear my enthusiasm about the opportunity. A long story short, I received an email not long after I interviewed stating they had chosen another candidate for the position. As you may know, I was sorely disappointed. I called my mother in tears; I was so confused. I thought I had sealed the deal. It felt like a ton of weights had fallen on my heart. I will never forget that feeling.

After that day, I questioned my competence. I thought, “Maybe I am not qualified for the work I want to do.” After all, if I had been, I would have gotten the first job, right? It took me a few weeks to gain my confidence back again.

The next interview I went to, I did not rely on my skills and qualifications alone. Instead, I focused on my positive attitude and the self-motivation brought on by being a new college graduate. I went in to the interview with a renewed mind. I told myself, “Win with charisma this time.” For some reason, it worked. I won the interviewing committee over, and they hired me on the spot. One of the interviewers on the committee later shared with me that they found my attitude very refreshing. She said they hired me because they wanted someone with a catchy attitude to work with their clients. I realized that my attitude and beliefs about myself were more important than my skills. In fact, my confidence is more important than my gifts or degrees. From that day forward, I realized how important thoughts and positive thinking are in the marketplace.  Believing in oneself is a greater asset than any degree we could ever earn from an institution of higher learning.

Rejection had almost won me over right when I was about to step into the world of work and adulthood. Finding employment can be a long and difficult road, and I was so put down by the first “No”, that it nearly tainted the whole process. If I had not focused on changing my inner world first, the outer circumstances would have taken me down internally. You see, the real fight with rejection is never induced externally, it always starts from our inner thoughts – our self-perceptions. Rejection causes us to sabotage the inner person, which has the greatest power over our lives. I was only twenty-three-years-old when I graduated from college, but I had gained enough inner awareness to know that my thoughts on life are what control and dictate my experiences.

Don’t chase approval. Be who you are, be confident in yourself, and go out and find the people and circumstances that are a match for you!